Divorce

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This series has 2 teachings.

In the first sermon you receive biblical options of things that you can do that will be pleasing to the Lord if you are considering divorce.

In the second sermon you receive biblical information on the Lords heart for marriage, the husbands authority in marriage & some of the results of divorce.

I Cor 7:10-24
Divorce, Separation & Remarriage - UD

2010-01-03

Pastor John Fichtner

  1. Jesus said that if you want to understand divorce you first have to go back to the original purpose of marriage
  2. You can’t understand divorce until you understand the purpose of marriage
  3. There are multiple Biblical options of things that you can do that will be pleasing to the Lord if you are considering divorce
  4. The beauty of the Blood of Jesus Christ is He not only forgives but He can take our screw ups and make us richer for it
  5. The Bible says (forcefully and clearly) 6 times that the purpose of marriage is that the two shall become one
  6. The husband has delegated authority to fulfill God’s purposes. He answers to God for the two to become one. (Example of authority: we are not moving forward until we are one, we will listen to each other, talk and pray, we will BOTH change equally) He has permission to operate in this authority as head of the home. He has this authority only and nothing else.
  7. Who you really are is who you are in your marriage!
  8. Malachi 2: 13-16
  9. My kids will always know me better than I know myself
  10. Only 20% of teenagers in America have their natural mother and father living in the home
  11. You both adore each other and walk in oneness or it all blows up
  12. When a teenager has both mom and dad who are married and love each other and like each other and they have watched them becoming one they will say that they KNOW Jesus Christ is real and no one can tell me otherwise
  13. Marriage is a fragile gift and a powerful weapon for the kingdom of God
  14. You are either all sold out for Jesus or you’re a wretched, selfish mess. Straggling the fence is no longer ok.
  15. What if you are the only one in the marriage that wants Jesus glorified? You can either get there or get released. 
  16. I usually say to women (all out for Jesus but her mate is not) if you will do everything that I ask you to do within the boundaries of the Word of God, I guarantee you that within five years your life will be great. Either he will be a sold out born again Man of God or he will divorce you; OR you will have Biblical reasons to divorce him and you will be out of this prison.
  17. 1 Corinthians 7:15
  18. The Word says that the dominant influence in the home should be the one who is walking in the Kingdom of Light
  19. You are commanded to dedicate your home to Jesus Christ!
  20. The purpose of your marriage is that the two of you together are 10,000 times more powerful in the kingdom of God than you are separately. This is why you want your marriage to succeed, so that your children will go to heaven and other people will go to heaven.
  21. Biblical grounds of divorce are adultery & ONE time of pornography
  22. 1 Corinthians 7:11 (separation)
  23. In Ezra 9 & 10, GOD blessed 111 men to divorce their wives and blessed them to send their wives. They had to divorce the heathens to walk with God. The people of Israel repented for disobeying the Covenant.
  24. Dominant influence does NOT mean abrasive!
  25. Divorce is not an eternal sin.
  26. Whether your marriage works or not is YOUR choice!
  27. The believer’s job is to dominate the home and dedicate that their home is going forward
  28. If you are not BOTH sold out you are heading towards divorce; if you are both sold out you can have a fantastic marriage.
  29. You both have to ask yourself WHY do you want your marriage to succeed?
  30. Marriage is not a right - it is a gift!
  31. Marriage is a fragile gift; ONE of the THREE most powerful weapons in the Kingdom of God.
  32. The purpose of this gift/weapon is for His Kingdom and if you treat it fragilely and use it for it’s purpose you’ll be the most blessed person on the planet if not, you will lose it.

I Cor 7:10-24
Divorce and Separation pt. 2 - UD

2010-01-10

Pastor John Fichtner

  1. Recap: In Ezra 9 & 10, 111 men to divorced their wives with the blessing of God. Jews considered that the point in which they finally started obeying God. The believer is to have the dominant influence in the home. You are to have the stance of you are going to come to Christ. You are saying that you will move heaven and earth to see you come to Christ, that is the dominant focus.
  2. The Lord’s heart on marriage is that the two shall become one
  3. The delegated authority of the husband is that the two shall become one; that is the only authority that the husband has.
  4. 1 Peter 3 the issue is also that men cannot stand to be disrespected. That is lack of submission in a serious sense. The wife is commanded to understand the sensitive nature that men are not supposed to be disrespected.
  5. Husbands have authority to say to their wives, when they need to have a deep discussion they can say that no one is leaving or sleeping until we have found a conclusion that we are both pleased with. I am going to love you, serve you and hear your heart, but I answer to Jesus that we talk and pray. This is authority! You have to do this humbly and graciously.
  6. Marriage is not a right it is a gift; you cannot demand that someone stay married to you.
  7. In your marriage, the first greatest weapon is the spirit of the Word within you, the second greatest weapon is the living body of Christ, and the third is your marriage. You are a gift to each other.
  8. We have to have teammates!
  9. Every person over the next 20yrs will face at least 3 – 5 crisis. This is not a curse or a negative, it’s just truth.
  10. Satan’s goal in the end times of this society is to isolate us. His plan in your marriage is to help keep you isolated; family, church family will all be surface and not really involved.
  11. If you go ahead and divorce your spouse and you have kids, you just lessened your income by ½ million dollars over the course of the rest of your life.
  12. You will have your kids in their 30’s and 40’s in drug rehabs because of the effect of divorce on them.
  13. The cost of divorce is massive!
  14. It is important to build friendships
  15. We must realize the power of God’s Word!!
  16. Ephesians 5: 25 – 27 – easy or hard (Do you want your life easy or do you want your life hard?)
  17. All ongoing marriage strife is your crud messing with your spouse’s crud (attitudes, overreaction points, judgments, opinions, etc.).  We try to scrape off our mate’s crud and we just end up getting more crud.
  18. Our souls are supposed to shine where people can see Jesus
  19. YOU have to decide whether you want your life easy or hard; your soul has crud on it and living the Christian life by your own will power is hard.
  20. You have to decide whether you want to live the hard way or the easy way. You go two days without the living Word, interaction, and dialogue, you are going to look like crud (frying pan analogy).
  21. The more God softens your heart you will begin to like your spouse again
  22. You have to get to point where the only thing you care about is not ending your marriage or keeping your marriage stable, but the only thing you care about is your spouse going to heaven.
  23. Men CANNOT handle abrasive challenges from women. There is never a reason to be abrasive. Men are either for you or will kill you; with men it’s either I hate you or I love you. 
  24. Being honest NEVER means being abrasive
  25. Be honest with a man upfront. Two mistakes that women make is we think that men understand things and men can smell a woman who’s hinting a million miles away. Men consider hinting as manipulation. Men intentionally go ignorantly stupid when women hint. 
  26. Women must learn male speak!
  27. All men in the flesh are bullies
  28. Negotiations and trades in your marriage are very helpful
  29. Women, treat your husband like a man. Love him, serve him, and bless him. He will then think you are the best wife in the world.
  30. We have so many weapons!
  31. 2 Corinthians 7: 9-11 (basically says to turn all of our pain and screw ups into passion.)
  32. Bring the lost to Jesus Christ!
  33. James 5:20 
  34. We must live every moment to bring others to Christ