Sexual Molestation

To access the series podcast click here. If you have a Android device you’ll need to download a podcast application to subscribe.

Sexual Molestation by John Fichtner - Series Overview

There are four teachings in this series. The first one is the heaviest as it directly addresses the ugly reality of sexual molestation and explains how people are coerced into abusive situations. The remaining three teachings list and explain steps toward healing and recovery for victims of abuse, focusing especially on shame and overall spiritual/soul health in the third and fourth teachings. 

Sexual Abuse pt.1 - UD

2000-01-01

Pastor John Fichtner

Sexual Molestation part 1 by John Fichtner

  1. Paul taught the people to discern the will of God in all subjects

  2. 38% of all women sexually molested by age of 18, and 5% of all men

  3. Jesus - friend of tax collectors and prostitutes (who were sold into prostitution)

  4. Not to ignore the deepest, darkest issues, but to offer the healing hand of hope

  5. When you’ve been sexually abused, people to tend to categorize you as never healed

  6. Most sexual abuse is usually coerced (NOT forced)

  7. Usually manipulated into a situation using guilt, threat, reward, playing on their sympathy, they are manipulated into a situation where it seems like they are a willing participant

  8. Forced sexual molestation usually a single instance physically resisting but overcome

  9. There’s a self-hate that comes with coercion and usually confusion

  10. People who have been coerced end up hating the fact that they want affection, hating their own God-given desire

  11. The degree of damage is directly related to how warmly accepted and protected you were by your father

  12. When the molester is the father, the sense of having any order, any protection in the world is shattered

  13. Almost as bad, is when the child feels they cannot tell their father

  14. The damage was terrible not because of the one act, but because there was no one to go to when the act happened

  15. To protect them from the damage of sexual abuse you have a home where they feel believed, praised, proud, parents are proud of them, affirmed, hugged, blessed…and when they come to Daddy, Daddy wants them to feel the best.

  16. There is a Big difference between physical warmth and sexual stimulation

  17. Don’t arouse sexual stimulation until the desire is ready to consummate in a marriage

  18. Most long term coercive situation comes from a home where they are starved for physical warmth…..shown warmth and then slowly crosses lines…until slowly line between physical warmth and sexual stimulation is gone

  19. The Wounded Heart: Hope for victims of childhood abuse -book

  20. Physical warmth is rare or non existent in the home of people who are abused

  21. Nobody relaxes until they feel protected

  22. Pray that the heaviness will draw you close to the Lord, not overwhelm you

  23. Bind and resist the spirit of fear

Sexual Abuse pt.2 - UD

2000-01-01

Pastor John Fichtner

Sexual Molestation part 2 by John Fichtner

  1. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn

  2. The belief that if I don’t face it; I’ll be protected from the pain a root cause memory block

  3. Until you come to the place where you say, “I will face this subject”, you will never be healed

  4. Resolve the issue of shame

  5. Jesus was purposely shamed for us…. we embrace the shame…in embracing we solve it and be delivered of it

  6. Resolve in your heart WHY it happened

  7. If I am humble and I am patient God will answer every “Why” of every single thing that has ever happened in my life

  8. You cannot rest until the WHY has been answered

  9. Why did God allow this? Why did you do that?

  10. Confront your molester/walk in forgiveness

  11. Resolve the issues of power and trust in relationship …. It’s (sexual molestation) a power trip

  12. To trust someone means to give them power over you…comes through healthy boundaries in relationships

  13. See sex within marriage as a fun gift from God…totally holy, totally pure

  14. Understand demons and deliverance

  15. Every time there’s a great wounding there’s a potential for demonic activity

  16. There are serious, pragmatic, practical, realistic, wisdom, great food, that in the midst of your great pain, God wants to impart to you while He heals you.

  17. The truth will make and mold you into a free person

  18. Nothing hidden that will not be brought out into the open

  19. James 5 - Confess your sins to one another to be healed

  20. Be willing to share your story with those that can help

  21. Be willing to study

  22. Be willing to use your wounding to minister to others.

Sexual Abuse pt.3 - UD

2000-01-01

Pastor John Fichtner

Sexual Molestation part 3 by John Fichtner

  1. “They dress my people’s wounds as though they were not serious”- Jeremiah 6:14

  2. 2 great books: The Wounded Heart- Dan Allender The Gift of Sex- Clifford and Joyce Menner

  3. Most frightening words-“I’ve never told this to anyone”…and then they tell you their story

  4. What’s the response to “I’m so ashamed”?

  5. 2 Chronicles 30:15- priests and Levites ashamed. Jeremiah 6:15- not Ashamed of loathsome conduct

  6. True Shame is a GOOD thing. No sense of shame for sin-pushes to further levels of perversion

    1. Shame is a barrier…it’s a protective line

  7. If a person feels shame for their abuse they are less likely to repeat it. ie, Person who feels ashamed because of sexual abuse less likely to abuse others. But person who does not feel ashamed by verbal abuse- can easily repeat that same verbal abuse.

  8. Do they feel great shame? If they do, then I have great hope.

  9. When compared with Jesus on Judgment Day- you will be ashamed

  10. Until you have experienced shame for your sin, you cannot fully experience what it means to be saved, delivered, healed

  11. There is a huge difference between true shame and false shame

  12. True shame is horror of how you look in the eyes of God. False shame is horror of how you look in the eyes of men.

  13. But I wasn’t ashamed because I had nothing wrong with me between me and the Father

  14. I am not ashamed because I know whom I have believed.

  15. No middle ground on free will…God gives us the freedom to hurt others.

  16. God’s protection…God will not always protect your body but will protect your soul.

  17. Try to discover the childhood history of the person who hurt you. Find out why is a great aspect of healing.

Sexual Abuse pt.4 - UD

2000-01-01

Pastor John Fichtner

Sexual Molestation part 4 by John Fichtner

  1. Physical Health saved Bobby Hurley’s life

  2. The natural is an illustration of what will happen in the soul

  3. The seven steps are like intensive medical care

  4. ATTENTION TO DEEP WOUNDINGS WILL NEVER BE MORE THAN HALF OF YOUR HEALING. The rest is, are you in good shape spiritually.

  5. Characteristics of a healthy person

  1. Humble - God, what are you trying to work in my life?

  2. Faithfulness in church (the point is faithfulness in your life)

  3. Un-selfcenteredness The essence of sin is selfishness.

  1. No matter how great your wounding, it is never ok to be consumed with yourself

  2. Are you giving of yourself to others, ministering to them?

  3. In the body of Christ two extreme responses to hurting me:

  1. Give general spiritual health and give no intensive healing focus

  2. Get so focused on your wounding that you think you’re the exception to every rule

  1. There’s a good thing of intensive attention, but you’ve got to have spiritual health.